This entry marks the third time I've tried to write this blog. My browser has frozen twice. This shouldn't happen, since programs freezing is precisely why I bought a Mac. I believe the following attributed to this:

1. The world is against me. It is a mean place.
2. Streaming music, even with a Mac browser, on Mac computer, using Quicktime, still won't work as well as Explorer. Go figure.
3. Hitler. He sucks. Not a cause of my frustration, but the cause of the Holocaust. And for that he sucks. And really, when is it ever a bad time to randomly remind people that Hitler sucks?
4. The school's internet unnecessarily asking for my username and password.
5. It doesn't matter. It's worth it, b/c I'm listening to the new U2 cd from their website while typing this blog. It's wonderful.

I had lots of things planned for this blog. I was going to talk about the religion and philosophy colloquium I just attended today, and I was going to be insightful and maybe even clever. I was going to delve into personal introspection. But no. Now I'm just frustrated and only willing to post briefly what I had written before, after the magic of copy and past takes place. Just below is what I was working on before my browser froze the second time:

"So colloquium today was pretty interesting. I got to ask the panel a question (the first time doing so in four years of going to these things), but alas, it was misunderstood. Somewhat disappointing. I probably should have been more specific. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Most of the profs shied (shyed? I've never actually seen this word written out before, so I'm giving it my orthographical best) away from the Iraq war (not "situation" or "crisis." It's a war, let's admit it and call it what it is. Down with Doublespeak!) and other current situations within our government, and I'm not sure why."

There's that. Picking up from there: the profs spoke mainly in abstract theory about Christians in government, which was weird since two of the three who lectured are openly in the minority here at IWU. Strange that they didn't speak up. I know that Dr. Drury may have wanted to keep a low profile since he came under such heat with his online essay earlier this semester, but it would definitely have been more applicable if the discussion went that way instead of into abstraction. Merely my opinion, though.

My main beef with the colloquiums is the attitude of many or most of my fellow students towards them. Usually they either disdain it because they think it pointless and unnecessary, or they go into them expecting to disagree with the profs. There are some major flaws in these attitudes.

First, most people who think the colloquiums are unimportant show their true apathy and ignorance towards the direction of culture, society, and religion in our country and world. It is a disgusting and shameful trait of my generation to simply not care about important things. Indifference plagues us. God help us to care.

Second, there is something very haughty about twenty somethings who think they know better than profs who have spent years and years studying, meditating, and debating over things. I find it odd that most students here are more conservative than the professors, and that the profs have to fight and convince the students to not be so rigid. I thought it was supposed to be the other way round. (I think it is at most schools.)

These are all just generalizations, by the way.

On a different topic, I was reminded today multiple times that I am first and foremost a history major. In the colloquium, I wanted arguments from history. For European Novel, I'm doing historical stuff for my part of the presentation. At Barnes, I was awestruck by how little I really know, how much of history I am unaware of. It was a blinding, eye-opening epiphany. I am doubly obsessed with history and language. I need to spend more time in history. I have so much more to learn and experience. Luckily, I am young and have time to learn, Deo volente.

This blog is not at all how I would have liked it to be. But U2 still rocks.

"Take this heart, take this heart, take this heart...and make it break."